I have never been big on following anyone’s advice. I used to say: you learn it the only possible way- literally going through it yourself. I applied it in everything and everything worked as it should. But then I found this amazing person and slowly started realizing that maybe it is not that healthy – to actually go through a trouble to know how to do things right. Because down the road of learning a lesson, you might as well hurt the person you care the most about.
Gradually, I started listening more to those who had life-long experience and happy relationships with their partners. I’ll be honest, these pieces of advice are simple, yet very pragmatic and they surely deliver the message.
- Love is a verb, not a noun. You need to understand a simple truth: you won’t have a strong bond with a person just by letting yourself have this feeling of butterflies in your stomach. Love is an act. Act of care, of constant work and efforts. It’s a choice you make every day.
- Always be the first to genuinely apologize after a fight. Yes, you’ll have disagreements, but it will be over, and you will be back to your normal self again. Make sure you apologize after the fight and do it truly believing that it’s the right thing to do, to do it first.
- Don’t go to bed angry. Everything will be there and worse once you wake up in the morning. Have the strength and faith in you two to be able to solve the problem and then rest the night. Problems don’t tend to dissolve at night.
- Always seduce your partner, even if you are in a long-term relationship. Otherwise, another person will. Just because you’re committed to one another, doesn’t mean you’re safe and you can both relax. Never let that sparkle die. Keep it fresh.
- When you and your SO are arguing, remember it’s you and them VS the problem. Not you VS them. While, at fight it’s easy to forget what the root of the trouble is and switch it onto your partner. It’s a fair line, but stay out of it, know it’s you and them against the situation, you need to be a united front.
- The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. Love tends to flourish where it gets the most of care and attention. Remember, you’re in it together. I suppose it’s easy to forget it sometimes with all the troubles at work and kids and responsibilities. But, hey, your love garden needs to be looked after properly to bloom.
- Stop trying to find the right person, start trying to BE the right person. I know many people who ends things or don’t even start them because they truly believe they didn’t find the right person. Well, maybe there isn’t one. Bummer, huh? I’d say try to be the right one for somebody you truly care about, and over time you’ll notice massive differences in that other person.
- When a lightbulb goes off, you fix the lightbulb. You don’t get the new house. And that describes the major difference between the couple who know how to make things work and those, who tends to always “buy new houses”.
- Shush up and listen. We feel most loved and understood when we have been heard and listened to. Simple, yet often forgotten fact. Make sure you are not always the one who has something to say. Rather focus on listening part more. This is the one that will bring joy and happiness in your house.
- Look for opportunities to say sincere thank you. Usually deeply underestimated treat in the relationships. Nobody owes you anything. Not ever. Not because you are a great lover, not because you’re are reliable partner, not because you’re a loving parent. So always thank your SO for being kind, cheerful and supportive. Thank them for a delicious dinner they cooked for you. For picking you up from work, for walking your dog, bringing you flowers for no reason. They will feel appreciated and loved.
It doesn’t take much to use these pieces of advice in everyday life, but it makes a tremendous difference in it. Guaranteed. At least my parents followed them and I know for a fact that they are truly happy together.
